“The gratification of wealth is not found in more possessions or in lavish expenditure, but in its wise application.”  ~ Cervantes

The old joke goes, the second happiest day in a man’s life is when he purchases a boat. The happiest day is when he sells the same boat. There’s a reoccuring theme in play here. More possessions and nicer possessions mean more ownership responsibilities. That equals more work, more expenses, and more time in your life spent caring for the possessions. Bottom line: in many instances, you don’t really want ownership, just access to the toys in life. In this case, simply going to the marina occasionally and renting may be much more time and cost effective. This translates into another lifestyle improvement. My family enjoys the water, but not enough to commit to ownership of the boat, so we rent. It’s been a very satisfying solution and an example where thinking differently from the crowd lets you have your cake and eat it too.

Our other solution to spending more time on the water was to invest in an inexpensive kayak. Great exercise, a good way to spend time together, and an easy adventure when you’re looking to kill an hour or two. We have five lakes within ten miles of our community. It’s no problem to throw the tandem kayak in the back of the pickup. In a very short time we’re in the water having fun. Consider finding ways to get access to the toys you want without ownership. It will expand your life and bring enjoyment into it sooner rather than later.

“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”  ~ Charles Spurgeon

“A first rate man should be willing to take at least some difficult jobs with a high chance of failure.”  ~ Charles Munger

As you expand and grow as an individual through your personal development work, you’ll find yourself getting a life. It means you’re now climbing Maslow’s Hierarchy and have moved far beyond survival mode. Perhaps you have the inclination to try something else. I’d like to suggest carving out a portion of your time and dedicating it to public service. 

There are any number of opportunities for passionate people with leadership skills. Possibilities might range from animal shelters, scouts or other youth organizations, workshops for the handicapped, school boards, and any number of additional local government boards. 

The political arena was my particular choice, therefore, I will focus on that. For many, politics (even small-town local politics) has a repugnant feel to it. However, if you don’t think politics a worthy endeavor, consider the state of many third world countries. Corrupt police, raw sewage flowing down streets, and varying degrees of chaos every direction will tell you very quickly that the quality of government is important. 

That said, make sure you understand some difficult and undesirable facts before jumping into the politics pond. You WILL be criticized both publicly and privately. You WILL find yourself in the newspaper and social media. You WILL be the butt of jokes. You WILL suffer public defeats. At times, you’ll want to pull your hair out at a meeting, then go home and drink heavily. Then finally, at some point, be ejected from office. 

It’s all happened to me. However, I think it was worth it. In any organization or community, there’s a small group of people that make things happen. If good things for a community are going to occur, then competent people with a backbone need to be sitting at the table.

Fortunately, I’ve been at the table and did my part to bring about many community successes.  Two of those accomplishments include bringing a large unique set of playground equipment specifically designed for the handicapped into our park system. In addition, we worked to develop a trail around our community lake. A trail that is regularly visited by walkers, joggers, bikers and those in wheelchairs. 

I did nothing on my own but was privileged to be among the spokes in the wheel that made this happen. Good things don’t fall out of the sky and good communities don’t spontaneously happen. It will involve difficult conversations, pain, work and setbacks. But, I can tell you the satisfaction is tremendous when I see a wheelchair bound person using the trail or the playground equipment being put to good use. 

For me, the challenges of the political arena were worth the significant and permanent upgrades and forward progress in my small community. I encourage you to find some type of public service you’re passionate about, then get involved.

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”  ~ The Diary of Anais Nin

“Before the development of tourism, travel was conceived to be like study and its fruits were considered to be the adornment of the mind and the foundation of judgement.”  ~ Paul Fussel

There are two challenges to taking vacations. First is finding the time followed by finding the money. This entry is devoted to the money challenge. Traveling with a family can be a big money suck out of limited financial resources. This places more stress into what’s supposed to be a fun time. While you may long for a trip to the big apple or surfing in Hawaii, it may make more sense to explore closer to home. 

I live in flyover country, but still have wonderful times vacationing without busting budgets. Here’s how I do it. Many (not all) of our family trips are in the car. Eliminating air fare, airport parking fees, then car rental is a huge savings. Dining out is another major expense so, why not pack a cooler. Done right, accommodations can be quite nice, yet very affordable. 

One of our “go to” sources is VRBO.com. These are second or third homes people have purchased, and now they’re renting them out to help make the payment. My family adventures include the Black Hills, the shores of Lake Superior and island hopping, trekking through Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado, and soaking up the funky vibe of Taos, New Mexico. 

Packing picnic lunches and firing up the grill for supper keeps the family food expenses in check while enjoying quality dining. There’s little correlation to spending a ton of money and having fun. The key is being together, exploring new places, and doing that frequently while not breaking the bank.

Get the entire crew on board and make a game out of it. Try to turn it into a great experience with minimal expense. My oldest son and I had cooking contests on the grill, giving my wife a respite from preparing meals. Give it a try this year! Commit to at least one additional vacation while challenging yourself to minimize expenses.

“Remembering you’re going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”  ~ Steve Jobs

“The most enfeebling of emotions is regret.”  ~ Dean Ache Son

Instead of “making do” and “grinding it out” look to focusing your attention on lifestyle design. As I got older and wiser I recognized the value of goal setting and figured out what I truly wanted. On my shortlist was more time with family and a partial solution was mini vacations. My family would stretch out a weekend by tacking on an extra day or two. We enjoyed visits to other states, camping trips, and reconnecting with old friends now living away from our community. 

Having a business model which is designed to allow me the most flexibility has been a huge win toward a lifestyle design that opens up more time for leisure. Using email, cell phones, and call forwarding allowed me to continue much of my business away from the office. 

I’ve fielded business calls driving across Kansas and Nebraska, negotiated deals while hiking and solved business challenges while drinking a beer back at the mountain cabin. Sure, I would rather be completely disconnected from my work, but this was a big improvement, gave me more time with loved ones, and was a definite lifestyle improvement. 

The big shift had come in my attitude. If I missed some deals (which I did), it was now okay. Neither my business nor my customers owned me. I decided that I had a right to my life, and my family had a right to my presence. While all this was a process, once conquered, it became incredibly liberating and has made for a much happier life. 

Give it a try. Find ways to run your business more remotely as you build mini-vacations into your life. If it doesn’t work, you can always go back to the old grind. The odds are, if you’re serious about getting a life, you can find ways to spend more time with your family. You just have to get serious about it. It’s worth the work and you’ll find yourself getting a life.

“Where attention goes, energy flows and results show.”  ~ T. Harv Elker

“You don’t have to be brilliant, only a little bit wiser than the other guys, on average, for a long, long time.”  ~ Charles Munger

Warren Buffet speaks about staying within your circle of competence. This means simply knowing where the line is between what you’re knowledgeable about and what you’re not. I know about residential real estate investing but I don’t know anything about gold mining. So, I should keep my focus in real estate and avoid mining. Easy to say, but most of us have failed this test. If I’m not competent to argue the pro’s and con’s of a stock, then I probably shouldn’t invest there. If I don’t really understand construction, I shouldn’t attempt to build my own house. 

You can actually have a relatively small circle of competence and yet do very well. Business owners do it all the time. They are very specialized in their niche. As long as they stay within their specialty, they do fine. Then they branch off into a completely new investment area, and things frequently do not go well at all. Simply working on knowing where the line is on your circle of competence and then slowly expanding that circle can save you from making bone-headed decisions and costly errors. Learn to be honest with yourself. Have you been trying to operate outside the circle?

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”  ~ Henry Ford

“An investment in knowledge pays the best investment.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

The basic math of a new car purchase can be a million dollar decision. For me, having money means freedom, and freedom means not having to kiss quite as many asses. In my opinion, buying that new car really slows me down. Here’s the way I see it. The assumption is $10,000 cash to work with and 25 years old when purchasing.

New car: Used car:

$50,000 purchase price $9,200 purchase price

  $6,000 down             $800 sales tax

  $4,000 sales tax =$10,000

$44,000 loan – 6.5 to 7 years

=$653.40 per month, multiplied by

12 months = $7,840.80 x 7 years

equals $54,885.60 principal and interest

Total new car cost, not counting

higher taxes and insurance: Total used car cost:

$64,885 $10,000

But that is not the end of the story as I see it. Assume you buy the used car and invest what the new car purchaser was paying monthly at an 8% return, then never invest any more after seven years.

$653.40 per month x 12 months = $7,840.80 x 7 years comes out to $54,885.60.

Assuming no additional payments were made the value at age 65 is $1,017,580.

Again, we can argue about the math, but we are talking principles. This is just one of many examples that demonstrates the power of compounding combined with good decisions, and a long run of time. That combination can give you a high lift towards “getting a life.”

*Point to ponder – compounding and bad decision making works in reverse, making it extremely hard to succeed. Recognize this and invest time along with effort in better decision making.

“Know that it’s your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny.”  ~ Anthony Robbins

“Only those who are asleep make no mistakes.”  ~ Iaguar Kamprad

Take a moment to reflect and ask yourself how many joyful, happy people do you know? Whatever your answer, the number should be higher. This period in mankind’s history is unique; there’s never been a higher standard of living available for the average Joe, nor more opportunities for lifestyle improvement. 

One of the culprits that robs joy, gratitude, and success from you is guilt. In my experience, churches can ladle it on, advertisers constantly tell us we should have more or be more, and finally, we pile it on ourselves. We feel guilty because we are not thin enough, we make too much money, not enough money, and the list goes on. While guilt can be a valuable tool to improve, that’s all it is – a tool to change your life.

Mindlessly beating yourself up because you failed to achieve a goal, or striving to be  perfect just leaves a person exhausted and unhappy. Recognize the human condition for what it is – a confusing minefield of options that nobody gets through without missteps. There will be errors in judgment, ethical lapses, hurtful words, and a host of other failures. 

The feeling of guilt should come into play only to serve you. It’s simply there as a warning light that you have violated one of your core principles. Listen to it, learn from it, then move on. I’ve known people that torture themselves for mistakes made decades ago. Unfortunately, it’s replayed in an endless loop and does not serve us. In fact, it weakens us, prevents us from evolving, and in general, robs us of any shot at happiness. 

Take some time to reflect. Is this you? Is guilt in some way affecting your relationships? Are you able to forgive yourself, or are you caught in the endless loop?

“Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within.” 

 ~ Cervantes

“Let me tell you the secret that has lead to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” ~ Louis Pasteur

Most of us try to live with values that revolve around the golden rule. To different degrees, we expect others to be fair with us and try to extend that to them. Frequently, that spills over into our philosophy of life. At some point, we start to think that life should be fair. If we’re a good person, the universe will be fair to us. Well, get rid of that illusion. Life simply IS and many unfair events will happen to you and your loved ones. Some of them come from poor decisions or risky behavior. While many, regardless of intelligence or decision-making, will come from simple bad luck. Accept that at times you will end up with the short straw and did nothing to deserve it. Doing that helps pull you out of victim or guilt mode. If your life is going to improve, it’s up to you to do the work to improve things. Life isn’t fair. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can go to work fixing your problems and getting a better life. 

“The best way to cope with challenges is to put your head down and behave credibly every day.”  ~ Charles Munger

“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” 

 ~ George Bernard Shaw

I learned about this success strategy from a Tony Robbins power talk. If this chapter speaks to you, I suggest purchasing the Robbins CD to flesh it out even more.

The process of thinking is simply asking yourself questions, then seeking answers. The key to good thinking is to ask good questions. Poor questions set you up to fail and be miserable in the process. For example, why am I such a loser? Poor question. What do I need to change to obtain more success? Good question. The poor question makes you feel like a slug. The good question makes you feel like there is hope. Poor self-image, condemning religious beliefs, negative self-talk, and critical remarks all set you up to ask poor questions. 

The fact is you must jettison these negative beliefs if you’re going to get a better life. Be determined to sit back and be honest with yourself. Does your thought process, the questions you ask yourself, set you up to fail or succeed? Do your questions set you up for a happy life or a miserable one? Many of us are critical of ourselves and end up asking poor questions. It takes conscious, deliberate, and consistent effort to ask the better questions. All of this is easier said than done, but it is worth the effort. 

For the next several days, focus on becoming aware of the questions you ask yourself. Use that awareness to ask better questions. Better questions mean better results and that means getting a better life. Give it a try. It’s free, there’s nothing to lose, and if you make a serious effort asking better questions, the answers will benefit your life in countless ways.

“Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.”  ~ Ralph Charell

“To be happy, free, and fruitful can only be attained through sacrifice of many common but overestimated things.”  ~ Robert Henri

While not the best fit for me right now, this has been a very popular and satisfying trade-off for many people in my area. I’ll include the story of friends who’ve done just that.

My friends (I’ll call them the Smith’s) lived in a high-end area on the west coast. Having celebrities and stars for neighbors was not uncommon. Along with that came high real estate prices, high cost of living, heavy traffic, and lots of peer pressure to keep up with the Jones’ if you were going to fit in. For several reasons, it became time to unplug and find what they viewed as a more sane and satisfying existence. As a result, they cashed out, made arrangements to work remotely, and relocated to fly-over country. They now live on a three acre mini-farm in a nice, spacious, and affordable home. The guy has a large metal building with tons of rooms for motorcycles and other toys, plus his climate controlled  woodworking shop. The couple grows most of their own food with occasional purchases of free range chicken or meat from area farmers. 

Do they miss some of the things from their old lifestyle? Sure, but they would both tell you it was a good trade. They’ve chosen an existence which created more time to entertain themselves doing what they enjoy and much more time to engage with one another.

Financially, it’s much easier to exist this way. Conspicuous consumption is generally frowned upon in fly-over country. It’s referred to as “being a big feeler.” Many people in their old neighborhood would refer to us as being unimaginative. Many back here might feel the same way about them. Regardless, maybe it’s time to examine if a mini-farm in fly-over country would be a good fit for you.

“I can accept failure; everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”  ~ Michael Jordan