“It’s not the will to win that matters – everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.”  ~ Paul “Bear” Bryant

As I study in my recliner each morning, I can’t help but to look at the large digital picture frame that’s on our bookshelf. The hundreds of photos I’ve added includes loved ones at various stages of life, memorable vacations, and positive life experiences. I’m reminded on a daily basis  how much I have to be grateful for. In addition, it propels my excitement about future activities and experiences. This has been an extremely useful tool for my widowed mother as well. I installed a television over her fireplace that functions as a digital picture frame. Her artwork is a collection of family pictures and has been a source of comfort, company, and a reminder of a life well lived. Life is about experiences, and using this technique is a great way to relive positive moments of your life while looking forward to your future. Daily positive memories is just another part of “getting a life”.

“What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.”  ~John Ruskin

“Health is a crown on a well man’s head, but no one appreciates it like a sick man.”  ~ Egyptian proverb

If you were to see my goal list, you would find excellent health at the top of the list. If you’re so busy that you don’t make time for adequate rest, a healthy diet, and daily exercise, you will eventually find time to be ill. There’s a long list of reasons to delay investing in your health. You may think there’s no time due to demanding situations at work, customers to serve, a family to provide for and so on. Here’s the bottom line. When you get sick, you are of no use to your customers or your boss and unfortunately, your health problems become your family’s problems. To knowingly sacrifice your health is not noble. In reality, it’s taking the lazy man’s way down the path of least resistance. I used to get so stressed I would literally shake with anger and frustration, couldn’t sleep, and was generally miserable, feeling like I was trying to bail out the ocean. I got my act together by managing my diet, emotions, and exercise. I can now say I enjoy excellent health. Health maintained is far easier than health regained. This isn’t rocket science. You know that your best life isn’t possible without good health. Quit making excuses and get good health habits. If you are truly going to “get a life” you need good health.

“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”  ~ Og Mandino

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”  ~T.E. Lawrence, AKA Lawrence of Arabia

Reluctant is the most accurate word to describe me when my mentor suggested that I keep a journal of written goals. However, at that point in my life, things had turned to crap. I had a handicapped child in desperate need of stability, my business was imploding, and my young wife had just passed away from cancer. 

My life sucked and I saw no way out. My mentor had been successful under difficult circumstances, and I think if he had said “stand on your head and quack like a duck” I was willing to do it. So, I started a journal of my goals and it’s a practice I continue to this day. The results were staggering. Within 12 to 24 months, nearly 80% of my goals were becoming a reality. I had never seen progress like this. Writing down my goals helped me come to understand several important things.

1. The process of writing down what I wanted forced me to clarify what I really               desired.

2. It reinforced my goals to my mind, helping me become aware of opportunities. Many of these opportunities had been there before, but I had failed to recognize them. They were like pieces of a puzzle. Without the picture on the box, I didn’t know what to do.

3. A written record of what I wanted, regularly reviewed, kept me focused. In addition, it served as a scorecard helping me emotionally.

4. As goals were achieved, this confidence in “possibility” helped me expand my goal list to things I didn’t think were possible or hadn’t ever imagined. Achieving these new and bigger goals has become a reality for me.

A $1.00 journal, a #2 pencil, and a commitment to regularly journal for 12 months will yield results beyond what you currently imagine. Goal achievement, resulting in an expanded life is another big step in “getting a life”. Decide TODAY if you are serious about reaching your goals. 

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.”  ~Abraham Lincoln

“The size of your question determines the size of your answer.”  ~Tony Robbins

Wealth – the accumulation of things I possess which I would not sell at any price (family, health, etc.)  ~ Author

Although not possible nor desirable for everyone, here is my take on the benefits of living in a small town. I live in a community of approximately 9,000 in the Midwest. I’m located less than an hour from a large metropolitan area which offers professional sports, a large airport, and numerous opportunities to enjoy music, theatre and outstanding food. I have access to all the big city amenities but don’t have to deal with the big city challenges on a daily basis.

Life in a small town is like life in a fishbowl. A drive across town is about ten minutes, with minimal traffic and few traffic lights. School class sizes are small enough that if my child wants to be at the top of the pecking order, be it sports, arts, or academics, they will have the opportunity to thrive at something.

When my widowed mother’s central air went down during a heat wave, the repairmen made sure her unit was fixed and her bill was fair despite a heavy workload. These types of stories are very commonplace. 

Everyone is famous in a small town. If you lie, steal, or are rude and belligerent to others, it becomes quickly known. You will see them again at the store, ballgame, or pass them on the street. Your kids will interact with their kids. If you act like a jerk, a small town is not the place for you. Respectful behavior is important wherever you may live but vital if you want to successfully live in a small town where so many decisions are relationship-driven.

From a home ownership standpoint, the prices are reasonable. My neighbor just sold his large four bedroom ranch with two fireplaces on ¾ of an acre for less than $175,000. 

Transparency and reputation are two factors which I believe make a small town community more civilized and appealing. All of this can translate into a more manageable, less stressful existence (a wealthier life). A key component in the process to “getting a life”. 

“You may delay, but time will not.”  ~Benjamin Franklin

“Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters.”  ~Nathaniel Emmons

A lack of organization leads to frustration, management by crisis, and eats up chunks of your life. Chunks of time that erode your quality of life and nibble away at your self-worth. Two important components of organization require relentless consistency.

First, do what you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do it. Successful people are prepared people. They don’t wait until the last minute. When something unexpected comes along, it is far less challenging to manage. Simple things such as keeping your gas tank at least half full, having extra cash tucked away in your billfold or purse in case you find yourself short of money, choosing your outfit for work the night before,keeping the cell phone charged and carry a charger in your vehicle.

Examine every possible inefficiency in your daily schedule and then take action to find a more efficient solution. When you find yourself getting frustrated or stressed, recognize that this is an opportunity to change your systems and improve your life. This is a critical step if you’re serious about getting a better life. If you want a more stress-free, relaxed lifestyle, it’s solely up to you to make this happen. You don’t do the work, you won’t see the results. 

Secondly, become a fanatic about using Pareto’s Principle, which is better known as the 80/20 rule. Named after Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, his principle states that in many instances 20% of the input or activities are responsible for 80% of the output or results. Using Pareto’s Principle will be an invaluable asset to becoming better organized and opening up huge blocks of time. Time which can then be deployed in actually living the life you so want. If you think about it, you’ll discover it applies to every facet of your world. Personally, I have found that 20% of my efforts yield 80% of my income, 20% of my customers give me 80% of my grief, 20% of any service club does 80% of the work.

I kicked this principle into high gear when one of my family members became seriously ill. As one of the caregivers, I quickly realized I could no longer do business as usual and was motivated to find ways to streamline operations so I could be there for my family. I needed to be able to run things from a hospital room if I had to. Using the Pareto Principle, I searched for what I could minimize, modify or eliminate in my life. I began by eliminating  part of my business operation that held little future, consumed large blocks of time, but only constituted about 20% of my income. Then, I put an end to the 20% of my customers that caused 80% of my work and grief. I didn’t stop there. Eventually, I went from working 50-65 hour work weeks to 12-20 hour work weeks. Finally,  I then improved my remaining operations and regained the 20% income I had lost. 

Get serious and stay serious (bad habits will creep in) about Pareto’s Principle. Pretend you are in a family crisis and have absolutely no choice. You have to make this work. What would you do? Then do it. You can always go back to your old way of doing things, but I’ll bet you won’t. Once you “get a life” you’ll find yourself reluctant to give it up.

“Do. Or do not. There is no try.”  ~Yoda, “The Empire Strikes Back”

“To successfully play any game, there are three things you must know: the rules, the stakes, the quitting time”  ~ Chinese proverb

Money isn’t everything, but it’s a necessary tool to make your life easier, less stressful, and helpful with time management. I can’t count the times someone has asked me how to have more money, but when it comes down to the work of learning how to acquire it and then keep it, almost all drop by the wayside.

Many people find the subject of wealth acquisition boring and are unwilling to educate themselves. Fine, no one will make you learn. It’s not like when you were a child and your mom made you clean your room. It’s your choice. Understand, however, that having a certain amount of money is a necessity in having a good life. Without enough, you risk simply going from one crisis to another.

To use an analogy – money acquisition and management is like any game. If you don’t know the rules – you won’t win. Can you play a game of chess, tennis, baseball, or any other game successfully without studying the game and knowing the rules? Obviously no, and yet people will spend a lifetime working for money, sacrificing time with family as well as their own health, all the while, cursing the word “work” but won’t spend the time necessary to learn about the rules of the money game. 

Ask yourself this question. How can an immigrant come to this country with no money, maybe not even know our language, and after a lifetime of working be financially wealthy? It happens all the time. Then ask, why are most Americans, who should have all the home court advantage, broke or near broke when they retire?

In part, I believe when immigrants travel to the United States, they come from a country with little or no social safety nets. They understand that if they are to be successful, they must learn the rules of the money game. And so they learn the rules which greatly increases their odds to prosper. Every one of us will have to deal with money. Don’t be lazy!  Learn about money – how to make it, keep it, and use it wisely. 

“Money is a great servant but a poor master.” ~French proverb

It’s no fun living in a financial bubble with no cash to back you up. I’ve been there and done that. Your boss and/or customers can behave like tyrants and you’re stuck, having to grin and bear it because you have a family to feed and a mortgage payment to make. You may never tell that customer or employer that acts like a jerk to go to hell. 

However, you have choices when you’ve saved up enough money. Options are very liberating, take lots of stress off, and allow you to keep your dignity. Some people in the world are so toxic you just don’t want to deal with them. “Go to hell” money gives you options. Options are another important part of the puzzle in “getting a life”.

“Liberty means responsibility. That’s why most men dread it.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw