“Things do not change, we change.”  ~ Henry David Thoreau

We are hardwired as humans to be attracted to the sight, sounds and smell of a wood fire. When the leaves begin to turn and the temperatures go north, we start a fire in our living room fireplace. Whenever friends stop by they gravitate toward the fire to have a sit and visit. We have friends who have never utilized their home’s fireplace. I used to be the same way. There were winters when I didn’t have a single fire. As I made a conscious decision to start getting a life, I decided to begin utilizing my resources. Things didn’t have to change, I had to change. So, my family began regularly enjoying our winter fires. 

Recently, our baseball team moved into the playoffs after a very long dry spell. We had friends over and had a ballpark meal cooking hot dogs using the fireplace. We had a great time enjoying another benefit of our fireplace. Quit making excuses about your lifestyle limitations. Whether it’s the fireplace or getting a firepit for your patio, do the extra work, get a fire going, and enjoy another one of life’s great pleasures. Nothing is better than good conversation, a brewed cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and the pleasure of a good fire.

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”  ~ Richard Bach

“Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.”   ~ George Washington Carver

An early morning meeting or flight can leave me with a restless night’s sleep. I have an obligation and I don’t want to be late or miss it. I’ll be up at 3 a.m., then later at 4 a.m., checking the clock. Redundancy has finally helped me solve this problem. I have two battery-powered alarm clocks (not digital) by my bedside. Set them both, then forget about it. It’s almost impossible to screw this up. They will ring. It will be at the correct time and I will get a more restful sleep. 

Getting a life means finding ways to make your life work for you. If something is a recurring challenge for you, don’t just lower your head and grind through it. Another year passes, then another. Remember you are spending a non-renewable resource, your time and your life. Quit making excuses. Take a moment to think about your challenge, get creative on the solution, and address the issue. When you do this you’ll find your life much less frustrating and new possibilities surfacing.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”  ~ Thomas A. Edison

“A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.”  ~ Seneca

Every human being wrestles with fear. In fact, evolution hardwired our ancestors with this emotion. In a very violent, take-no-prisoners world, it’s how they survived and why we’re here today. They listened to the fear and it continues to serve us today. However, it can also seriously undermine our success and happiness. In today’s world, much of what we fear is not life or death. Yet we tend to let fear override the rational side of our mind. Fear of failure, our boss being upset, looking foolish, not fitting in socially, and the list goes on. We can manage the consequences, but we let the fear stop us. 

Among my studies of personal development, one of the most insightful observations of fear comes from author T. Hans Ecker, who encourages us to view it as nature’s thermostat. When we’re trying something new, we are simply moving outside our comfort zone. Something is new, the thermostat clicks, and the fear kicks in. Instead of giving into the emotion, learn to override the thermostat of your mind with rational thought. You’ll always wrestle with fear. It’s how we’re made. Strive to make decisions based on facts rather than emotion. Face your fears, manage them in healthy ways, and you’ll find yourself happier and more successful. 

“Courage is resistance to fear; mastery of fear — not absence of fear.”  

~ Mark Twain

“I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened.”  ~ Mark Twain

“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it one.”  ~ Abraham Lincoln

We’ve all done this one. We want something to work out so we bend and twist things in our mind until we get the answer we want. Then we proceed to foul our own nest. If you’re planning your retirement based on an average return of 15% for 40 years, you’ve set yourself up to fail. The same way when you marry someone who’s a drunk and cheats on you, but you expect them to change. Unrealistic expectations will bite you in the ass every time. Being realistic may be harder initially, but it’s the grown-up thing to do. Creating a great life is about making good decisions. Good decisions mean avoiding unrealistic assumptions. See things as they are. Be honest with yourself and start making better decisions.

“It is likely that whatever challenges you have in your life currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream.”  ~ Tony Robbins

“Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.”  ~ Richard Bach

We spend nearly a third of our life in bed. So, why not place some effort into making it a better experience? The flannel sheets come out at our house when autumn comes along with its cool weather knocking at the door. Flannel feels great against the skin and is just the right thing on a crisp evening whether you’re a multi millionaire or an average Joe. It’s affordable, and just one more area where the playing field is level for all us regardless of income status. These small incremental improvements over time add up to huge steps forward. Start believing you can change things and take small actionable steps to begin getting a life.

“The task of a man is not to see what lies dimly in the distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.”  ~ Thomas Carlyle

“No man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”  – Emerson

Most of us want to make a difference and live a life of significance. When we approach the end of our life, we want to know that a piece of the world is better because we lived. For me, micro lending is one of the spokes in that wheel. As Americans, we take access to capital and opportunity to improve our lives for granted. However, that’s not the case for much of the world. If you were born into poverty in Uganda, you are most likely stuck with few jobs and ways to improve your lot in life. 

This is where micro lending can come to the rescue. Simply put, an individual joins together with others and loans several hundred to several thousand dollars for startup businesses, home improvement, and education. The repayment rate is extremely high. Most likely, you can loan the same money out time after time, year after year. Your part of the loan can be as little as $25.00. 

You may not change the world with billions of people in need, but you can make a huge impact and difference for a few. You’ll never meet the borrower, they’ll never be able to say thank you, but you’ll have made a difference. My choice of micro lenders is Kiva.org.

“If you can’t feed a hundred people then feed just one.”  ~ Mother Teresa

“A man was walking the beach throwing starfish back into the ocean. The beach went on for miles with millions of starfish. Another man asked him, ‘How can your effort make any difference?’ The man looked at the starfish in his hand and threw it back into the ocean. ‘It makes a difference to this one,’ he said.”  ~ Minnesota Literacy Council

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.”  ~ Abraham Lincoln

When I turned fifty, I decided it was time for my midlife crisis. After some contemplation, it came down to two options to ease the pain. I could either have an affair or buy a ragtop jeep. After consulting my wife, it seemed to be in everyone’s best interest to choose the jeep option. I bought an old beater for not much money and use it for evening cruises or errands, ice cream runs, and trips to the pool with our son. It’s a great way to beat the summer heat yet be outside. In addition, my nephews have enjoyed learning to drive a four-speed. It’s a great treat for them when they come to town. They keep using the term “babe magnet” whatever that means. Anyway, give it a try. You’ll have fun. If it doesn’t work for you then simply sell the vehicle. You’ll probably lose a little money, but the pain won’t be too bad.

“Action may not always be happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”  ~Benjamin Disraeli

My wife comes from a family of musicians. Every Christmas Eve, several close friends would bring finger food to an in-law’s house. Then, the music began. Everyone brought their instruments and played or sang. Sadly, the tradition has passed away along with most of the participants. It was a unique and anticipated event that lasted for about twenty-five years. While not always convenient, everyone recognized the value of cherished traditions. Take the time to design and build your own traditions. It’s all part of “getting a life.”

“The opportunities of man are limited only by his imagination. But so few have imagination that there are 10,000 fiddlers to 1 composer.”  ~ Charles F. Kettering