“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” 

~ Jim Rohn

We generally don’t get in a mess overnight. It’s the same thing when trying to extract yourself from a challenging situation. It’s going to take time. Accepting and utilizing this simple concept will give you the opportunity to thrive and stand out while others fall to the wayside. 

In our instant gratification culture, very few have acquired the ability to persist. Time can be your ally if you allow it. Whether investing, building relationships, starting your own business, building a skill, or other worthwhile endeavors, it will require time and a commitment to play the long game.

Success is rare, in part, because it requires the acceptance of the role time must play. . Understand there will be setbacks, periods of boredom, and bouts of impatience. The key is to pace yourself, particularly if you’re building a balanced and successful life in multiple areas. Whether healing, learning, acquiring new skills, or investing, time is a necessary and useful component. 

Anything of long-term value will require time and acceptance of it will help preserve your energy, improve your attitude, and give you additional confidence. The combination of a good solid plan and the willingness to allow time for it to work can set you free. An example in my life would be my residential rental investments. It required a ten to twentty year time horizon before it put any money in my pocket. Yet now, I have a collection of assets that pay monthly dividends to me, can be leveraged to start other businesses, or can be monetized in a variety of other ways. For all things of value, learn to give it time. It’s part of growth, maturity, and success.

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.”  ~ Abraham Lincoln

“You have not because you ask not.” ~ Jesus

The power of your mind is the most formidable arrow in your quiver. When you learn to activate and direct it, you’ll find yourself moving mountains. I was introduced to this concept in studying Tony Robbins’ material. Robbins is a workhorse for providing quality material to improve your life. Your R.A.S. (Reticular Activating System) is the filter of the brain. 

You receive thousands upon thousands of pieces of information daily – sights, smells, sounds, and touch. The R.A.S. tells your mind what to ignore and what is significant. Color of the wall – ignore; car rushing toward you – pay attention. You get the idea. When you do written goal setting and are serious about it, your mind will begin to notify you of opportunities to achieve these goals. The mind has now labeled them significant. In the same way your mind snaps you to attention when a car is rushing toward you, it calls attention to opportunities for success.

Opportunities that probably have been there all the time. For example, when I made the decision to purchase a ragtop jeep and put it on my goal list, I started seeing jeeps everywhere. On the highway, around town, on trips to the city, and in ads or flyers. The jeeps had always been there, only now I was spotting them. It’s the same way for your goal list. 

Your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time. Your subconscious is a high multitasking, problem-solving machine. It’s at work when you’re at your job, playing, watching TV, and even sleeping. We’ve all slept on a problem, and the next day, an answer comes out of nowhere. It’s your R.A.S. at work. Don’t take my word for it. Run your own experiment. If you’re serious about the experiment, you’ll get positive results. Success will breed more success, and you’ll find yourself getting more of the life you want. After all, it’s the stuff on YOUR goal list.

“Success in peace of mind is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”  ~ John Wooden

“Life belongs to the living and he who lives must be prepared for changes.”  ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When my wife was a child, she and her family would go caroling in the neighborhood and to the nursing home. It brought smiles to many people who were often sad and alone during the holidays. Nursing homes are full of people in the twilight years with various health and personal struggles. Taking an hour to bring joy to other human beings costs nothing but brings a little relief and joy to those struggling. 

We all have opportunities to bring short periods of relief and joy to our fellow man. Be willing to change and try something different. Whether caroling or something else, try something new this holiday season and bring a few moments of joy to others.

“Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.”  ~ Norman Ralph Augustine

“Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself to make a better life for your family and yourself. You don’t have to be afraid, just prepared.”  ~ Dr. Charles Richards

In today’s job environment, most people are self-employed whether they realize it or not. You may have a traditional job, but you’re really more like a professional athlete. Your boss can fire you, trade you, or continue to hire you. 

You, the athlete, have the same options. You are the CEO of your life – responsible for your retirement, strategic planning and decisions, relationships, health, and investments. If you’re in a traditional job, remember – your boss doesn’t own you. Any perception, true or not, that you’re not bringing more to the table than you’re costing will result in you being cut free. Remember that and position yourself appropriately. 

You may have several jobs at the same time. For example: you may have a traditional job, but in addition, you have several rental houses, a part-time internet project, along with a partnership in a commercial investment.

Personally, I didn’t worry as much about the cyclical nature of any primary job because I had other projects that were also working for me, growing my passive income, and growing my net worth. Remember, it’s your job to make your life work. Viewing your employer as devoted to your success is a dangerous illusion. A simple change in management or its philosophy can cut you off at the knees when it’s difficult or impossible to recover. I observed this with others over and over for decades. 

Don’t let it happen to you. Yes, it’s more work and unpleasant taking on additional responsibilities, but it’s better than eating ramen when you retire because you’re broke. It’s not your employer’s job to make a wealthy life for you. They are looking at shareholder profit. It’s your job to be the CEO of your life and all that goes with it. And that’s good news, because you can’t control your boss, but you can control yourself! Have a variety of work and investment options. Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself and exercise them.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion’.”  ~ Muhammad Ali

“Possibilities do not add up. They multiply.”  ~ Paul Romer

I hope to never quit working, as I enjoy the challenge, opportunity to contribute, and the creative part of the process. I, too, never want to go back to the old “nose to the grindstone”  method. Watching a loved one die over a three year period gave me time for a hard look at my life. I didn’t want to find myself in a hospital bed someday, wondering how things were at the office. 

I summoned my courage and started the process of semi-retirement. Our home, while older, was in good repair and paid for. No car or credit card debt also helped. I needed enough money for us to live. I would still have to work some but could ease off the accelerator. Modest amounts of work combined with various streams of existing passive income would accomplish that, but how about retirement? 

I had a lot of equity, but still had some debt left on a number of  rental houses. That debt would convert into equity over time and help fund retirement. Fortunately, Interest rates had dropped so, I refinanced and locked them in at a low rate and accelerated the payoff at the same time. I can read an amortization table and know that when I’m in my mid 60s, my rentals will be paid off. My retirement is funded and I can enjoy my family, my life, and explore things that really interest me. No, I won’t be traveling in a gulf stream jet when I retire, but I have a life now and I don’t need to travel in a gulfstream. For me, it’s been a great trade-off. Take a few minutes and simply dream. What do you want? How could you get there? Is semi-retirement worth a try?

“The starting point of all achievement is desire.” ~ Napoleon Hill

“Do not work harder when the solution is working smarter.”  ~ Tim Ferris

We’ve all heard this phrase, but as with so many things in life, knowing and actually applying that knowledge can be two different things. There are countless versions of this story, but I’ll share one to illustrate what I’m talking about.

Several years ago, I was engaged in a conversation with friends from out of state. High-caliber, intelligent, responsible people, yet frustrated and unhappy. Both are topped out with the income they can make at their current jobs. They live in a high-end home, drive upscale cars, and in general, don’t deny themselves. After several discussions one evening about not having or making enough money, they proceeded to comment on how they’re getting ready to replace all of their furniture (I’m proud to say I kept my pie hole shut). However, I wanted to scream, “When you’re in a hole, stop digging!” They either need to find a way to make more money or cut back on lifestyle. Self-medicating by purchasing more stuff will only add to the current pain level. We have all done some version of this whether it’s relationships, business, or investments. We’ve all brought additional pain into our lives because we refused to simply stop digging. 

When something is not working, don’t mindlessly keep doing more of the same. If something’s not working, learn to step back and take an objective look at your options. Don’t needlessly waste months, years, or even decades. Sometimes, it’s a simple shift in strategies or a modification in your philosophy. Bottom line: if what you’re doing is not working and you find yourself in a hole, then learn to stop digging and start thinking.

“As to methods, there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.”  ~ Emerson

“Action is the foundational key to all success.”  ~ Pablo Picasso

As we age, our bodies begin the process of physically declining. We can’t run as fast, recovery takes longer; strength and flexibility diminish. How many fifty year old professional quarterbacks do you see? Accept the fact that all of us are slaves to our body. When health collapses then nothing else works and life can easily lose much of the joy. While the eventual outcome is inevitable (at some point, our bodies will fail and we will die), the deck can be stacked in our favor so that the journey is longer and the ride much more enjoyable. 

I’m talking about the daily practice of exercise. Exercise is another of life’s absolute musts, a non-negotiable, and necessary for body maintenance and health. In my opinion, the most valuable forms of exercises are yoga and pilates. They have some similarities and are invaluable to helping maintain your balance, core strength, flexibility, stamina, and vigor. You don’t need to devote huge blocks of time to get significant results. Twenty-five to sixty minutes a day will get you there. If you’re serious about getting a life, then get serious about your health. Commit to 6 days a week for one month. Become aware of how you feel, how you move, and your balance. I recommend the following:

• The book “The Pilates Body” by Brooke Siler
• DVD “Total Yoga – 4 Pack” by Tracey Rich and Ganga White
• DVD “Rael Pilates” by Rael Isacowitz

Pay particular attention on where to breathe, contract, and relax. The videos are full of instructions to accompany each movement. Don’t expect to become ripped and muscle bound. This is about developing limber and practical muscular strength. Get serious for 30 days. You’ll be amazed at your progress and hopefully continue making this a life-long practice.

As a side note, take a look at Brooke Siler’s book. Look at the pictures of an aging Joseph Pilates (inventor of the method). Proof there is hope for a strong, vigorous second half of life.

Finally, a practice I use to further improve my balance is to do a few yoga poses with my eyes closed. Obviously, you want to use caution to prevent a fall from occurring.

“The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” 

 ~ Vince Lombardi

“If there is a huge whirlpool where all who enter will die, do not get close and hope to not get sucked in. Stay clear away.”  ~ Charlie Munger

Everyone faces temptations that are destructive. The lure of these temptations can be amplified if others are encouraging your participation. For example, you’re married, have a family, and your buddies are headed to the strip club and want you to go with them. Run! Absolutely nothing good can possibly come from participating. 

The pain from different negative outcomes is immeasurable. There will always be the opportunities for ethical lapses and poor decisions. Make a conscious effort to stay on the moral high ground. Don’t even get close to the line. When in doubt, just ask how you would feel if your decision was made public for your family and friends to see. We all have tendencies towards things that are self-destructive. Just apply the whirlpool example, avoid the dumb decisions, and you’ll end up closer to the life you want. Remember, a lifetime’s worth of work can be undone with a single dumb decision. Avoid destructive impulses and perverse incentives – no exceptions.

“No one can harm you but yourself.”  ~ Gandhi

“The first and best victory is to conquer self.”  ~ Plato

#1. We all have challenges or problem areas that need improvement. Our lives could be much better, it’s possible, and you know it. It’s why you’re frustrated.

#2. Most of us don’t have a long list of high achievers standing in line to help us. 

That’s where self-improvement books, CDs, podcasts and blogs come into play. It’s simply the science of success. Take the time to purchase books, listen to CDs or podcasts while driving, and improve your mind. 

When my mentor suggested a self-improvement study, I was rolling my eyes and dismissive. Then, I stepped back and reflected. His life was great and mine was in the toilet. That was one of THE pivotal conversations of my life. I took his advice and my life has never been the same. I can honestly say my life, and my family’s life, would be very different had I not had that conversation. I will be forever grateful for the time he took and the advice he gave me.

 If you’re serious about getting a life, make the daily study of personal development an unconditional must for your life. Surround yourself with the stories and the work of successful, achieving people. When you learn their lessons and start applying those lessons to your life, you’ll find yourself much more fulfilled, much more positive, and happy with the game of life.

If you’re serious about changing your life, then this entry is the one to seize and NEVER turn loose. Further, I can think of no greater gift than to get your kids started on it as well. When my son was in college, he wanted to make some extra money. I hired him ($500) to listen to Tony Robbins’ “Personal Power 2” series. He had to call after each CD and discuss what he learned. He didn’t get paid unless he completed the series. He hated the process, but completed the series and collected the money. Now, ten years later, he would tell you it was invaluable in helping him overcome several very significant challenges and thrive where others were failing. 

Many of us parents help pay for college so, why would you be reluctant to pay for this? My personal development study has been far more valuable than anything I learned in college. Today’s world changes faster than at any time in history, and the speed of change continues to increase. It’s increasingly complex, but the person with a strong skill set in personal development will do very well.

Today, purchase one personal development CD and one personal development book. I suggest:

CDs:                                         

“The Art of Exceptional Living” by Jim Rohn

“Personal Power 2” series by Tony Robbins

“Get the Edge” series by Tony Robbins

Books:

“The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield

“Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins

“Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. It will turn your life around. Commit to self-improvement every day.” ~ Jim Rohn

“The best effect of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence.” 

 ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s a segment of society you just want to avoid: the toxic personality. I’m not talking about the negative, complaining, unpleasant personality. These are easy to spot and not that challenging to avoid in most cases. The ones that do the most damage have a different method of operating. They can be friendly, engaging, and even fun to be around. That is, until they cut you off at the knees with critical, cutting personal remarks. Gestures of friendship from them, you let your guard down, then bam! Then the cycle starts all over.

This leaves you confused, hurt, and wondering if you’re the loser they portrayed. These are frequently people you feel good about like neighbors, friends, or maybe even someone closer. Their verbal thrust is far more hurtful than from the jerks down the street. You may even start to believe their comments are true. 

They may want power over you or be in pain themselves so they seek to tear you and others down to soothe their own unhappiness. Regardless, accept things for how they are. We all need an inner circle of friends, but these are not the ones to let inside. When you do have contact, continue to conduct yourself in a positive, friendly way. Accept things as they are, ignore any cutting comments and keep them out of your circle.

“You don’t treat someone with respect because of who they are, but rather because of who you are.”  ~ John Wooden