Author / Blog Writer

by Blog Writer

Start a hiking club

“You have not because you ask not.”  ~ Ancient proverb

When I was younger, a group of us used to meet early Sunday mornings at a local business whose owner ran with us. Rain or shine, we would drink coffee, visit and in general, solve the world’s problems. There was always engaging conversation before, during, and after our morning run. Gradually, we all grew longer in the tooth and after about fifteen years, we stopped. Age, bad knees, and grandkids eventually pulled us in other directions. I can say, we had a great time and still talk about the “old days”. After about a ten year hiatus, I decided to put my toe back in the water. I got with a buddy interested in hiking and we now meet for a weekly hike (we’ve been slowly expanding our group). We then grab a coffee and head for the screened-in porch we refer to as “Camp David”. The friendship, conversation, and exercise are an event we look forward to. An inexpensive activity such as this can elevate the experience of living and help you “get a life”. Ask people to participate – make things happen.

“What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.”  ~Hugh Mulligan. Associated Press

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The purple pie place

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”  ~ George Elliot

Vacations have always been a big deal to me. Wherever we go, we establish rituals that everyone looks forward to. It might be daily trips to that special coffee shop every morning, letting the kids explore for money in the pool (making sure there is some to be found), or an ongoing game of Monopoly. One vacation that still holds special significance for me was a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota. My parents had flown in to meet us. Dad was ill and we knew his time was growing short. We discovered a unique establishment that sold homemade pie and ice cream called “The Purple Pie Place”. A daily evening visit became a much anticipated event for all of us. Even today, years later, I’m so glad we took the time to establish that ritual. Learn to take the time for rituals. It’s not too late to start the habit. Put some thought and effort into it. You’ll find yourself ‘getting a life’.


“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

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Leadership

“Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so.”  ~ Charle De Gaulle

There are many unknowns when a ship is in trouble at sea. There should be one thing however, that is known to everyone there. Come what may, the last person to leave the ship will be its captain. Period. The captain will put his passengers and crews’ best interest before his own. That’s leadership. Compare and contrast that to officials in Washington D.C. that have one set of healthcare standards for us while providing a less costly and superior system for themselves. That’s people in power. 

Most of us will at some point find ourselves in roles that have power over others. The question is, will we show leadership? As parents, we have power over our children. As children we may eventually find ourselves with power over elderly parents. There are customers, clients, patients; subordinates and organizations we serve. At different points of our life, most of us will possess power in some form. As counterintuitive as it may sound, assuming a leadership role and sacrificing for the good of others is essential for getting a life. In order to have a well-lived life, we must be able to look at ourselves and know we did the tough stuff. When challenges came, we met them head-on. We earned the labels of pride, dignity, and character. When I was a single parent, we ate fruit every morning. If there was not enough, I did without. If some of it had blemishes, I made sure I took those. My kids never noticed, but I did this and other small sacrifices to both train and remind myself to be prepared for the big challenges. I never wanted to look in the mirror and know that I had power but was unwilling to be a leader. ‘Getting a life’ will require you to show leadership.

“You want to set a goal that is big enough that in the process of achieving it you become someone worth becoming.”  ~ Jim Rohn

“To lead, you are required to have both competence and character.”  ~ General Norman Schwarzkopf

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You don’t have to come in first to be a winner

“Sometimes it will be like driving through the fog, where you can only see the road 10 yards ahead of you. But if you keep moving forward, more of the road will be revealed, and eventually, you will arrive at the goal.”  ~ Jack Canfield

Our culture celebrates only 1st place. Anything less and you are viewed as a loser. Think about how our society views the 2nd place team at a Super Bowl and a World Series –  losers. There used to be a commercial that referred to the Olympics. While I don’t remember the product, I do remember the line, “You didn’t win the silver, you lost the gold.” Take a few moments and think about what that is saying. Here’s my interpretation. On a given day, an athlete delivered the 2nd best performance in a sport on the planet. Yet they are diminished and labeled a loser. 

This philosophy is pervasive in our society. We can never have enough, be enough, or accomplish enough. There will always be someone who has more and on some level, we’ll continue to think of ourselves as losers. This sets us up for a lifetime of unhappiness, resentment of others, envy, and in general, a self-defeating, unhappy existence. Objectively and critically viewing this can only lead to one conclusion. People that subscribe to this philosophy are getting a dangerously high reading on the dumbass meter. Unlike Wimbledon, in the game of life, there is more than one winner. In fact, we all can and should win at the game of life. I should not view your success as in any way diminishing me. In turn, my success simply involves playing the hand I was dealt. My job is to take my circumstances and find ways, large and small, to improve things on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly scale. Winning is not about being #1. Winning is about constantly improving! To be happy, consciously decide what winning is for YOU rather than letting our culture set the rules. When I need an emotional lift, I will go back and look at old goal lists, sometimes years old. As I review them, I’m reminded of how much things have improved and how much has been accomplished. This helps re-energize and inspire me. Adopting healthy attitudes combined with constant improvement in all parts of your life will equal “getting a life”.

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”  ~Booker T. Washington

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Maintain Balance

“The four greatest virtues are moderation, wisdom, justice, and fortitude, and if a man is able to cultivate those, that’s all he needs to live a happy successful life.”  ~ Marcus Aurelius

There’s a yoga philosophy in my five yoga dvds with Tracey Rich and Ganga White that states: “Finding balance is not fixed, but rather constantly shifts and adjusts to the moment.” True, true, true. Our culture tends to approach things as a checkoff list. We want precision. Set the goal, get the result, check it off the list, and move on. Life is not like that. Marital relationships, child rearing, health, friendships, businesses, etc. all require a more flexible attitude. Being willing to adjust to the moment gives you a huge advantage in achieving and maintaining desirable results. For example, if your child is traveling through a rough patch, they need more of your time to navigate troubled waters. As things get better, resume a more normal routine. Simply accept that maintaining a balanced life will require constant, deliberate, and thoughtful shifting on your part. This reduces stress, makes for better decisions, and moves you towards “getting a life”.

“Trust thyself.”  ~ Emerson

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Purchase Post-It notes and put them to work

“Good or bad, habits always deliver results.”  ~ Jack Canfield

There are quite a number of tools to help us humans stay organized. It seems that our phones, Ipads and laptops, along with a multitude of available apps has helped millions in this area. However, the Post-It Note is my preferred method as the visual reminder placed in a strategic place works best. 

In part, ‘getting a life’ means having control over your time, and that means growing better habits. For me, the Post-It notes are a very useful tool and habit. I keep them, along with mechanical pencils next to all the phones, at my desk (both home and office), on the refrigerator, in all vehicles, and the business folder I carry with me. 

When an idea comes to mind, write it down. Don’t spend mental energy trying to remember things. Phone messages, ideas, and reminders are all written on a Post-It, then stuck in the appropriate place. A reminder of an early meeting is on the kitchen cabinet. The “hose is on” reminder gets stuck on the back door. Ideas that occur while in the car are written down then brought to my office or placed in my planner. Phone messages are never forgotten because they are on a Post-It and placed in the kitchen. Use this method to reduce screwups, save mental energy, and function more efficiently. Finally, wisely use the time saved rather than  piling more stuff into your day, and you will be a step closer to “getting a life”.  

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”  ~ Ben Franklin

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“Learn to make much of the little” – The Tao

“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you only do it when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”  ~ Ken Blanchard

You don’t have to be uber wealthy to have a great life. Learning to make much of the little is one area where the playing field for everyone regardless of income status is basically level. This philosophy requires that effort be expended to deliberately and consciously focus on what you enjoy, then find ways to improve the experience. For example, let’s say you enjoy a cup of coffee. Currently you may be rushing around while drinking some swill from a C-store out of styrofoam. Instead, buy some good, quality beans and take the time to grind them. Enjoy drinking out of the mug you bought at that special vacation spot. While enjoying your coffee, engage in an uplifting conversation with a coworker, or better yet, spend a little extra time visiting with your partner. Either way it’s coffee, but it’s definitely two different experiences. Let your mind do the mental gymnastics and see what you can get on the list. I’ll help get you started. 

  • Food – Expensive, unhealthy filler you get at a fast food restaurant. You choke it down on the run versus clean, wholesome food you take the time to savor. Both food, two different experiences.
  • Dessert – Crap you bought at a C-store – no natural ingredients, wrapped in cellophane versus. a quality piece of homemade pie. Both desserts, two different experiences. 
  • Sex – Going through the motions versus taking the time and effort to connect with each other. Both sex, two different experiences.
  • Music – Playing your music on a $29.95 CD / radio versus enjoying them on a Bose. Yes, this one costs more, but is not too costly for most people and it gives great music year after year. Same CD, two different experiences.
  • Vehicles –  Driving a mobile hog pen versus a car that looks like it came off the showroom floor. Same car, two different experiences. That said, get your car detailed once or twice a year.
  • Friends – Spending an entire evening at a party with people you would not invite into your house versus spending time with people you enjoy and respect. Companionship, two different experiences.

You get the idea. This is actually one area you can quickly surpass the multi-millionaire. How many stories of rich, miserable people do you need to hear before understanding it’s not all about the money? Some people forget that and focus on the wrong things. The more you learn to make much of the little, the faster you’ll roll down the path of “getting a life”. Move beyond just interested, get committed to improving your life, become aware of your opportunities, then stay committed. Start making things happen.

“Let us not look back to the past with anger, nor towards the future with fear, but look around with awareness.”  – James Thurber

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Experiment with food Sunday

“Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”  ~ Robert Collier

Good relationships are an essential part of a good life. All relationships need fostering or they slowly die. One of the things my family practices to maintain and grow our relationships with family and friends is a regular event we call “Experiment with food Sunday”. Simply put, it’s a potluck with untried recipes. It’s designed to be special yet simple. Everyone brings a dish, we use disposable products so clean-up is minimal. If the house is not in perfect shape, so what? It tends to be an early night since the work week starts the following day. 

It has become such a requested fixture that when family comes in from out of state or my niece comes in from college, we make sure “Experiment with food Sunday” is on the agenda. If some of the recipes don’t work, don’t worry. It’s all part of the fun. The laughter, fellowship, and creative component make this event a winner for us. Get “Experiment with food Sunday” regularly in your planner and you’ll be another step closer to “getting a life”.

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”  ~ Benjamin Franklin

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Invest in a high quality mattress

Notice I said invest, not buy. You’re much more likely to be a creative, can-do person when you’ve had a good night’s sleep. Adequate rest boosts your immune system, improves memory, prevents weight gain, increases productivity and helps you to better manage challenges throughout the day.

I’ve always been the type of person that wants to get that last bit of value out of what I purchase. However, that’s not the best strategy when it comes to mattresses, and I learned this lesson the hard way. I had been sleeping on an old, swaybacked mattress that had clearly seen its best days. After a year of suffering joint and back pain in the morning, it occured to me it might be the mattress. It would be pretty stupid to let this continue, so my wife and I went shopping for our first ‘‘high-quality’ mattress. We invested in one that had great reviews and seemed very comfortable in the store. The difference was immediate, as I had no more back aches and joint pain in the morning! That was eight years ago, and I still label it among our best investments. We spend approximately a third of our lives on a mattress. Whether sleeping, snuggling, or having sex. Shouldn’t you be laying on something that’s comfortable and healthy for your body? This is another area that the playing field is level whether you are a multi-millionaire or not. The cost of a high-quality mattress is within reach for most people and will probably last ten years. Investing in a high quality mattress is an investment in your long term health and is an important part of “getting a life”.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”  ~ Jim Rohn

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Buy fresh cut flowers weekly

“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.”  ~ Franz Kafka

I have a passion for nature, and quite enjoy the beauty of trees, birds, flowers and attractive landscapes. For me, it provides a kind of positive therapy and energy which promotes a healthier mindset. In fact, bringing nature’s beauty inside my home has been a huge plus.  A few green plants or fresh cut flowers make a home feel more alive. In my area, an inexpensive bouquet of cut flowers cost between five and ten dollars. I believe the colors symbolize success, beauty, and give the feeling of pride that our home is attractive and warm. The positive impact on your family may be pleasing to you as well. Making your home a beautiful and positive place is another part of “getting a life”. 

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~ Arthur Ashe