“Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage.” 

 ~ Theodore Roosevelt

When I was growing up, I frequently heard the phrase “you can’t let people walk on you”. I eventually got into the family business where that mentality continued. We used to joke that my father was in charge of the public relations side of our business. You wouldn’t find his picture in the warm, cuddly section.

It took me years to finally get a handle on the challenges of human interaction. Very seldom does an ‘in your face’ confrontation produce good, long term results, and anything less than that is not letting people walk on you. I’d like to share some advice after having spent decades working with people, money, and stressful situations.

1. When things are boiling, expect some steam to be vented. While unpleasant when you’re on the receiving end, simply view it as something necessary to move towards a solution. People need to let the emotion out so they can become more rational and reasonable. All of us have shown the red eye and made a complete ass out of ourselves at some point. The person that can remain calm during one of these barrages, continue to think clearly, diffuse the situation, then move towards a solution has a very valuable skill set.

2. Find a way to let people save face. Humans have a way of getting themselves backed into a corner. If you can find ways to let them out of the corner and salvage their dignity, you can go far.

3. Don’t go down the rabbit path. As people become entrenched in their positions, the excuses to justify those positions start surfacing. This redirects the conversation, confuses the issues, wearing everyone out until finally things just die from exhaustion. Don’t go down these rabbit paths – stay focused on the big picture.

4. You may be working with someone you don’t have a high regard for. (Think belligerent personality with an IQ just above plant life.) Don’t let it get personal. Don’t insult them, and let any comments directed toward you roll right off. Just get the job done then get out of there.

These are easier said than done. However, if you can master them, you’ll have a formidable set of arrows in your quiver. There will always be challenging personalities, but the person who can successfully work with them can go quite far in life. 

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”  ~ Theodore Roosevelt