Accept and deal with the fact that everyone is flawed, defective and has some level of  dysfunction. This seems natural because we are human beings, raised and taught by flawed human beings. No one and no family does it all perfectly. The only question is, how deep and destructive is the dysfunction? Not coming to terms with a problem might make things seem easier in the short run, but it simply prolongs the pain, deepens the dysfunction, and in general, hurts everyone involved.

Let me share a story about my friend Tony (not his real name). Tony is a close friend and among the most intelligent people I know. He is highly educated, well traveled, and by any yardstick, successful both financially and professionally. At different periods of life, Tony found himself caught in destructive, toxic, and dysfunctional situations. Confused and caught in chaos doesn’t begin to describe where he found himself. During one particularly painful and toxic episode, he was completely lost on what to do. Despite all his accomplishments, chaos reigned. 

Fortunately, Tony drew the long straw and by chance had a conversation with a counselor. He began to learn about toxic dysfunctional human behavior. The knowledge from subsequent conversations allowed him to extract himself from a damaging situation. 

Here’s the point. If a guy like Tony can find himself in this situation, what about the rest of us average Joe’s? Learn from his lesson. If things don’t make sense, you’re unhappy, and you’re stuck dealing with painful personalities, don’t be afraid to get help. Human behaviors can be much more predictable than generally understood. Once you understand the game and the rules, you’ll likely get along much better. If this is you, don’t be afraid to hire a professional counselor or therapist to assist in looking at the situation more objectively, and perhaps point out what is not obvious to you. Remember, you deserve a good life. 

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” 

~ Benjamin Franklin