“The best effect of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence.” 

 ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s a segment of society you just want to avoid: the toxic personality. I’m not talking about the negative, complaining, unpleasant personality. These are easy to spot and not that challenging to avoid in most cases. The ones that do the most damage have a different method of operating. They can be friendly, engaging, and even fun to be around. That is, until they cut you off at the knees with critical, cutting personal remarks. Gestures of friendship from them, you let your guard down, then bam! Then the cycle starts all over.

This leaves you confused, hurt, and wondering if you’re the loser they portrayed. These are frequently people you feel good about like neighbors, friends, or maybe even someone closer. Their verbal thrust is far more hurtful than from the jerks down the street. You may even start to believe their comments are true. 

They may want power over you or be in pain themselves so they seek to tear you and others down to soothe their own unhappiness. Regardless, accept things for how they are. We all need an inner circle of friends, but these are not the ones to let inside. When you do have contact, continue to conduct yourself in a positive, friendly way. Accept things as they are, ignore any cutting comments and keep them out of your circle.

“You don’t treat someone with respect because of who they are, but rather because of who you are.”  ~ John Wooden